7 Fears of Legal Permanency: A Resource for Caseworkers
When youth in foster care are asked whether they want to be adopted, caseworkers on a child’s team should expect to hear “no.” These young people may have experienced many layers of trauma, and it is reasonable that they would be hesitant to trust another adult and an unknown future. They may have also experienced a placement that was considered permanent but later disrupted.
Through our signature program, Wendy’s Wonderful Kids® (WWK), the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption supports the hiring of professionals, known as recruiters, who are dedicated to finding permanent homes for the longest-waiting children in foster care. These professionals use an evidence-based, child-focused recruitment model to find the right family for every child and assist youth in unpacking their fears. Legal permanency may take the form of adoption, guardianship or, when safe, family reunification.
Instead of stopping recruitment efforts after an initial “no,” professionals working with youth should explain what legal permanency is and what it could look like. This helps youth make informed decisions. It is also important to understand each youth’s specific concerns and explore whether those concerns can be addressed through a recruitment process tailored to their needs. These actions empower youth to take part in their future and increase their chances of long-term stability and happiness.
Having these essential conversations is a key part of the child-focused recruitment model used by WWK recruiters.
Following are the seven most common fears about adoption and other forms of permanency that WWK recruiters hear, as well as strategies to work through a youth’s concerns in a manner that addresses these fears and affirms their voice in the recruitment process.
7 Common Fears
Often, youth in foster care have lived in multiple homes throughout their lives, which creates a longing for stability. The thought of having to move again can be exhausting. WWK recruiters and other child welfare professionals work to help these young people realize that location is not stability and explore ways they can stay in touch with connections from their past placements.
Strategies:
- Recruit a permanent family within the youth’s current school or community
- Collect the contact information of all important connections
- Ensure that the family is willing to embrace existing connections
- Encourage the family to attend events with the youth in their former and current communities
- Invite existing connections to the youth’s new home or community
- Ask the youth what is important about their current school or community, and try to recreate this in their new school or community
- Familiarize the youth with their new school or community
Young people waiting in foster care may feel love and loss for their family of origin. Regardless of why a child was placed into care, many believe that accepting their place within an adoptive family means rejecting their family of origin completely.
Strategies:
- Ask the team to revisit the family of origin — including distant relatives and relatives who previously could not take placement, but may be in a different position now — to determine whether there is an appropriate placement
- Express the importance of the family of origin with the youth’s adoptive family.
- Help youth gain permission/acceptance from the family of origin to move forward with adoption, if possible.
- Explain that an adoptive family is not meant to replace their family of origin.
- Explore ways to prioritize safe, appropriate connections within the youth’s community, culture and family of origin.
Identity formation begins in childhood and moves to the forefront in the teenage years. Keeping in mind that the average age of the focus population served by WWK is 14 and that permanency-related identity issues start to increase at age 12, it is understandable why young people would not want to let go of this part of themselves. The youth’s last name may be the only piece they have left of their family of origin.
Strategies:
- Hyphenate their last name
- Make their family of origin’s last name their middle name
- Keep their last name as-is
- Recruit a permanent family that supports the youth’s input on choosing their name
It is no secret that youth in foster care have often moved from house to house, which lead some youth to feel unwanted and not good enough. This can contribute to low self-esteem and concerns about how they may be viewed by others.
Strategies:
- Understand that a youth may continue to feel unwanted even after a permanent family is identified and beyond
- Discuss with the youth why they hold this belief and explore their response
- Help the youth to see their strengths and positive attributes
- Help to nurture relationships in which the youth feels valued and supported
Fear of the unknown is a universal fear for youth and adults alike. Asking someone to be open to the idea of permanently becoming part of a family that has not yet been identified can be overwhelming. Often, youth do not feel they can truly answer this question until they know to whom they are saying “yes.”
Strategies:
- Validate that change is scary
- Assure the youth that their voice will be heard and that they will be involved in the process
- Empower the youth to take an active role in decision making
- Ask the youth about a time they tried something new, and it worked out well
- Discuss situations the youth is concerned about and how they could work through them if they happened
- Explore with the youth what aspects of a family and community are important to them to help inform their transition plan
Entering a new home with new rules can be scary. Not knowing the consequences of broken rules can be scarier, especially when youth have experienced trauma. Collaboration between the youth, family and child welfare professionals is important so that everyone’s concerns can be addressed.
Strategies:
- Understand which rules or expectations may feel worrisome to the youth
- Encourage the youth and family to establish rules together
- Urge the youth and family to determine consequences together for now following rules
- Assist the family in discussing expectations that are negotiable vs. non-negotiable
Safety and wellbeing are always a priority. However, not everyone’s idea of feeling safe and happy is the same. Having a plan in place to nurture and protect the youth’s safety and wellbeing is a best practice to give them peace of mind.
Strategies:
- Explore what safety and wellbeing look like for the youth
- Make a list with the youth about what makes them feel safe and comfortable and share it with the family
- Ensure youth have contact information and the ability to connect with people who make them feel safe and comfortable
I didn’t feel like anybody would want me. I never really celebrated my birthday because instead of a celebration of getting older, it was I’m less likely to be adopted.
Your Impact
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Assess frequently the youth’s understanding of permanency, using language that is developmentally appropriate and meaningful to them
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Ask youth who is important to them and who they turn to for support, and have their recruitment team revisit these adults as permanent placement options or invite them to be members of the youth’s recruitment team
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Reflect on how you are recognizing and honoring the youth’s relationships, community and culture in the permanency process
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Order or refer youth to receive specialized recruitment services, like Wendy’s Wonderful Kids, even when youth express hesitancy to achieving permanency. WWK recruiters have the time to work through fears and find the right family for the youth
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Challenge efforts that halt recruitment or those that give the youth a case plan goal that keeps them in long-term foster care
