Finding Forever Families: A Step-by-Step Guide to Adoption

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption believes that every child deserves a safe, loving and permanent family. Whether you are an adoption professional, a prospective adoptive parent or someone simply interested in learning more about the process, this guide offers valuable information and resources to help you make a difference in the life of a child.

Download Guide (English) DOWNLOAD GUIDE (SPANISH)

Michael, Roman and Lilliana often lived in separate foster homes as their family of origin struggled with addiction. By the time the siblings were ages 9, 8 and 6, they had spent more than half their lives apart, longing for a permanent place to call home. Thankfully, they were adopted in June by their foster mom, Terri, through the Foundation’s Wendy’s Wonderful Kids program.

Now, Michael, Roman and Lilliana finally have what they always dreamed of: the chance to grow up in a loving family — together.

Read more

Building Your Forever Family

Every child has a story to tell, and every adoptive family has its own set of traditions. This makes every adoption unique. But all adoptions share a common process. This guide can help you navigate your adoption journey.

1. Adopting a child from the foster care system
Right now, more than 108,000 children, through no fault of their own, are waiting to be adopted from foster care in the United States. As victims of abuse or neglect, these young people are placed in care because their birth family is unable or unwilling to provide a safe environment for them. The majority are healthy children who simply need and deserve a permanent, loving home.

Unfortunately, the myths, misperceptions and realities surrounding foster care and foster care adoption can give many prospective parents pause. Read 5 common myths.

If you’re interested in foster care adoption, begin by contacting your state’s public agency or another adoption organization, like the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. Through our Wendy’s Wonderful Kids® program, the Foundation supports the hiring of adoption professionals, known as recruiters, who are dedicated to finding forever families for youth in foster care who are most often overlooked.

2. Adopting an infant in the United States
If you would like to adopt a baby, contact your state’s public agency, a licensed private agency or an adoption attorney. To connect with an adoption attorney, contact your local bar association, the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys or the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services at childwelfare.gov.

3. Adopting a child from another country
Hundreds of thousands of children from around the world who are orphaned need families. Rules governing international adoptions can change quickly and can be complicated. Some countries may disqualify a person from adopting based on marital status, health diagnosis, age or sexual orientation. It is important to research your options and work with an experienced and ethical agency, group or individual.

If you pursue an international adoption, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services requires that you complete a home study. In most cases, the adoption agency or individual you are working with can assist in completing the home study and help you find a child who needs a family.

Learn more
• U.S. Department of State: adoption.state.gov
• National Council for Adoption: adoptioncouncil.org

4. Adopting a stepchild
If you are interested in stepparent adoption, consult an adoption attorney or contact the court in your state or county that handles adoption. You may also reference the Child Welfare Information Gateway’s stepparent adoption fact sheet.

Which type of adoption best fits with your beliefs and goals as a parent?
Download our adoption guide for reflection questions and resources to inform your decision.

Download the Guide

Foster care adoption typically costs $0 to $5,000 in nominal fees and home studies, while private infant or international adoption might cost $30,000 to $60,000 or more. Subsidies are often available for families who adopt from foster care. You can also talk to your employer about adoption benefits and consult your tax adviser about possible tax credits.

Financial assistance is available for all types of adoption, including:

  • Federal and state subsidies for foster care adoption: These may include monthly cash payments, medical assistance and reimbursements for one-time adoption expenses. For more information about adoption subsidies available in your state, visit Families Rising.
  • Loans and grants for individuals.
  • Employer benefits: Many organizations offer benefits, such as financial reimbursement, paid leave or other time off, to support employees who adopt. Through our Adoption-Friendly Workplace program, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption provides free resources to educate employers on how to implement adoption benefits.
  • Tax credits and exclusions: The federal adoption tax credit is a non-refundable, permanent tax benefit for eligible families who adopt through foster care, internationally and privately. In 2020, the maximum tax credit for qualifying adoption expenses was $14,300 per child. It may be carried forward for five additional years, applying to each year’s liability until the full credit amount is used or time expires. Learn more at irs.gov or speak with your tax advisor.
  • Military reimbursements: For active-duty personnel, the military offers up to $2,000 ($5,000 if more than one child is adopted) for qualified adoption expenses per calendar year. For couples who are both in the military, only one member may claim expenses for each adopted child. Visit militaryfamily.org for more information.

To learn more about available support, view the Foundation’s Financial Resources for Adoptive Families page.

Download our adoption guide to learn more and start planning.

Learn More

Not all adoption agencies are alike, so choose carefully. Some handle the entire adoption process, helping you throughout. Others expect you to take the initiative to learn about procedures and deadlines. Get a sense of how much control you want over the process and then decide on an approach and agency that fits you best. You must work with an agency operating in the state where you currently live. You may choose to work with a public or private agency. Contact your state adoption unit for available options. Be sure each agency you consider is licensed to provide adoption services in your state.

Find agencies in your area

Learn more about which adoption agency might best align with your beliefs and situation.

Download the Adoption Guide

Once you have selected an agency, it is finally time to begin the formal adoption process. Typically, you will attend an orientation meeting or training session for prospective adoptive parents, where you will:

  • Meet social workers and learn about policies and practices.
  • Learn about the children who are available for adoption.
  • Be asked to examine your feelings about adoption and determine if adoption is the right choice for you.
  • Gain insight into the challenges and rewards of adoptive parenting.
  • Get application materials.

If possible, attend an orientation session before filling out an application, so you are confident in the agency’s abilities to meet your needs. Application fees are often non-refundable, even if you decide to work through a different agency or change your mind about adopting. Once you have chosen an agency and have completed the application process, ask your social worker how to schedule and prepare for your home study.

Download our guide to learn more about the adoption process.

Learn More

To begin the search for a child, contact your state agency, county agency or a private adoption organization in your community. Your case worker will work with you to find a child where both your needs and the child’s needs are met. Visit davethomasfoundation.org to find additional adoption journey resources as well as a list of agencies that implement our Wendy’s Wonderful Kids program, which finds permanent families for children lingering in foster care.

Get to know your child
When you have found a child and have been identified as their potential family, learn as much as you can about them. Talk to foster parents and social workers.

  • How often has the child moved or changed schools while in care?
  • Do they still have contact with extended family?
  • What are the child’s favorite foods and games?
  • What is the best way to comfort the child?
  • What is their background?
  • What are their birth parents like?
  • What are the family’s and child’s medical histories?

These conversations will help you determine whether your family is the right fit for meeting the child’s needs.

If you’re interested in growing your family through adoption, download our guide to get started on your journey.

Learn More

It’s time. You know your child, and now they are ready to be placed in your home. What do you need to do to prepare? Here are a few steps to support a smooth transition for both you and the child.

  • Contact your insurance company.
  • Obtain a copy of your child’s original birth certificate.
  • Prepare to get a new Social Security number and birth certificate for your child.
  • Organize services for you and your child, such as childcare, school enrollment, and therapy or counseling.
  • Make your house child friendly.
  • Talk to your other children about what to expect and how they can help welcome their new sibling(s).
  • Negotiate an adoption assistance agreement.

Are you ready to explore adoption?

Download our Guide

Children who are placed with an adoptive family through a public agency may move in as soon as the parents are approved. This means you have completed all required pre-placement visits and the timing is not disruptive to the child’s schooling or other activities. You assume temporary legal custody of the child once they are placed in your home.

Your adoption agency will monitor the placement while your family adjusts. This monitoring period normally takes about six months, but can be as short as a few weeks and as long as a year. The adoption professional may call or visit so that you can discuss how the placement is working for your new child and for you. The next step is for your agency to recommend that the court approve your adoption.

Adoption Petition
With the recommendation of your agency, it’s time to petition to adopt. The petition is the document that makes your adoption legal. On the document, you formally request permission to adopt the child and then file it with the court.

Download our Adoption Guide

A finalization hearing legally completes the adoption process.* It is when you, the adoptive parent or parents, are given permanent legal custody of the adopted child.

These hearings typically take place within 6 to 12 months after the child is placed in your home. The court will seek to establish that the child has been placed in a safe, loving family. Be prepared to present all the information included in your adoption petition as well as answer questions, like:

  • Why do you want to adopt?
  • How will you care for your new child?
  • How will your family adjust to the new child?
  • Is there anything the court should know before finalizing the adoption?

As soon as the judge signs the adoption order, you gain permanent, legal custody of your child.

*Some states finalize adoptions through paperwork only and there is no hearing.

Are you interested in opening your heart and your home to a child through adoption?

Download our free, step-by-step Guide

After you’ve finalized your adoption, you’re not all on your own. The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption offers a free guide with post-adoption resources. You can also consult your adoption agency or other adoptive parents in your community for recommendations.

For more information, check out these organizations:

Top