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Vermont — 16-year-old Em has a tough exterior. She said it’s her mask. She keeps her guard up … She doesn’t trust easily. And when she was placed in foster care for the third time as a teenager, she promised herself she’d never be hurt again. 

Em lived in and out of foster care since she was a toddler. She was abused in her biological mother’s home and in her first adoptive home. But Em will tell you she is a survivor. She is not defined by what happened to her, but rather how she moved through it and past it. 

Em was 14 when she moved into Marissa’s home as an emergency foster placement. She thought it would be just like all the other foster homes … A group of “roommates” with random rules. But Em knew something was different the moment she got out of the car. 

“I was wearing a Harry Potter shirt,” said Marissa. “And she got out of the car and was like, “What house are you?” And I said, “I’m a Gryffindor. What house are you?” And she said, “I’m a Slytherin. That was the first moment we connected.” 

The connections didn’t stop there. 

“From the second I saw this cringey Harry Potter doormat that says, ‘Wizards welcome, Muggles tolerated,’ I felt so at home and felt so heard by a doormat, by a doormat. I let down my fake act, I put down my mask,” said Em. “It was a very intense change for me. Because I walked into this household, and I felt so relaxed. If you’ve ever been in the foster system, you understand that that’s not a feeling that you have very much.” 

While Em felt at ease, she was still hesitant to trust that a family could welcome her … that she could be safe. And when her Wendy’s Wonderful Kids recruiter, Macie from Lund Adoption Agency in Vermont, brought up the idea of adoption, Em shut it down. 

“I resented her at first,” said Em. “But we formed a respect and a friendship.” 

Slowly, over the first year of living with Marissa, Em started to realize … “This woman is my mother. She encourages me to do better but doesn’t push me beyond my limits. She lets me know that it’s okay to make mistakes, but to intentionally damage or disrupt something isn’t ok. She sets clear boundaries, something that not a lot of people are good at. Something I respect. And when she earned my respect was probably when I started to realize that I loved her. And having someone love me that unconditionally and knowing that I would do the same for her, that for me solidified that there was no way that I wasn’t going to be adopted.” 

Marissa was over the moon when Em told her she wanted to be adopted. She had already suspected that was the case and was just waiting for Em to be ready.  

With help from the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and Macie, Em was adopted at age 15.  

Using the Foundation’s evidence-based, child-focused model, recruiters begin their diligent search for the right family within the network of people a child already knows and trusts and listen to their voice throughout the process. 

“One thing I loved about Em is that she was working side by side. This was her plan,” said Macie. 

“Macie always made sure I knew adoption was an option, even before I was ready for it,” said Em. 

Now, with her feet on stable ground and her head on the same pillow every night, Em is planning for her future as an interior designer. She’s looking at colleges and reflecting on how much has changed in such a short amount of time. 

“I don’t believe I have words to describe that. I lost hope many times along the way,” said Em. “And to be able to experience it and know it’s not going anywhere is immeasurable.”  

The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption believes that you are never too old for family. Learn more about how you can get involved with the Foundation and help us find forever families for children waiting in foster care. Visit https://www.davethomasfoundation.org/get-involved/