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The Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption’s mission to find families for children and teens waiting in foster care has always struck a deep chord with me. 

Foster care and adoption are part of my story.   

I was an unplanned, unwanted and unnamed newborn. For the first 10 days of my life, I lay alone in an incubator. No one held me. No one whispered my name. I didn’t even have a name. Above my head hung a sign that read, “Baby X.” 

Doctors soon labeled me a “failure-to-thrive” baby. In those days, they didn’t fully understand how vital human touch is to a newborn’s development. But my body understood. My brain understood. And my heart understood the absence of connection. 

My adoptive grandmother, who served as the matron of the county orphanage, arranged my adoption by her son and daughter-in-law. They were in their 40s, filled with love and longing for a child. When they looked at me, they didn’t see “Baby X.” They saw a daughter they were ready to pour their hearts into. 

But adoption, as beautiful as it is, isn’t simple. I struggled to receive the love they so freely offered. It wasn’t because they weren’t good parents — they were. But trauma leaves fingerprints on the soul. I carried deep questions about my worth and identity from the very beginning. 

When I was 20 years old, life took an unexpected turn as I learned I would be expecting my first child. In that moment, having my parents’ support took on a whole new meaning for me. I’ll never forget my mother’s reaction. Her knees buckled beneath her, and she pulled me into her arms, holding me tightly. It was a moment of pure love and acceptance — a reminder that blood alone doesn’t define families. 

It was around that same time, sitting in the OB-GYN office and reading pamphlets about how babies develop in the womb, that a thought stopped me in my tracks: Someone carried me, too. I had to find my biological mother and thank her for giving me the gift of life. 

The journey to find her wasn’t easy. It took decades, filled with roadblocks and heartbreaks. I eventually found both sides of my biological family. I learned I had nine siblings — a gift beyond what I could have imagined. 

But even happy reunions come with complications. 

One of the most significant wounds in my adoption story happened after reuniting with my birth mother. Despite my efforts to build a relationship, she refused to continue. The sting of that rejection was sharp. I had to grieve that loss. 

In addition to the emotional pain, I’ve lived with developmental trauma disorder — a condition caused by early neglect. My brain was affected by those 10 days in the incubator, making logical thinking more difficult. Simple tasks, like voting, take me far longer than most. But I’ve learned to embrace my brain, story and scars. What once felt like rejection has become fuel for transformation. 

If there’s one thing I wish people understood about adoption and foster care, it’s this: losing a parent — whether at birth or later — is devastating. Many adoptees carry an underlying fear of abandonment for life. It’s not always visible, but it can shape how we trust, how we love and how we see ourselves. 

That’s why safe spaces to share our stories matter so much. When adoptees hear others express similar struggles, it reminds them they are not alone.  

If you have a connection to adoption, I encourage you to share your story. Sharing your experience can help encourage others on their journey and raise awareness of the urgent need for foster care adoption.  

For me, family is everything. My husband of 60 years, our two daughters, our sons-in-law and our six precious grandchildren are the anchors of my life. Adoption has now come full circle in our family — my daughter adopted my granddaughter at birth.  

Becoming a beloved daughter changed everything for me. These are the many reasons why I’ll stand up for adoption, forever. 

Thank you, Sherrie, for sharing your story and supporting others on their adoption and foster care journeys. To learn more about adoption, including adopting from foster care, read our free step-by-step guide and explore other ways to get involved to help a child waiting for a family.